Picture a nice quiet room. Maybe it’s even a little dim. There is a comfortable couch or chair that’s calling your name. Doesn’t that sound great? It’s my idea of serenity. Other people view it as sheer loneliness. I suppose almost everything really is relative.
Is it Two for One?
The short answer is no. Serenity is defined as being calm and unclouded. It feels peaceful and relaxed, something you might want to experience.
Lonely as much more negative connotations with words like solitary and isolated. These definitions feel like situations that are pressed upon you, not something you choose to encounter.
How Do “They” Know?
I have discussed in many other posts that anxiety has a varied and bizarre affect sometimes. You just never know some days how the monster will rear its ugly head. So, for the outsiders looking in, the friends and family that worry and wonder about being alone, how can they tell the difference? The best answer is that they have to ask. It’s simple and to the point.
Observation can be a good indication for others as well. I mean, if you have found some serenity with your alone time, you are in a better head space than if that time has brought you loneliness, it’s not that tough to figure out. Even those of us that have been faking our smiles for years let our guards down at some point.
We all have people in our lives that want to help. They want to help with anything and everything. Now don’t get me wrong, help is great if we want it and if we need it! If they know we are home alone, they want to go to dinner or a movie. If they know we are sad, they want to cheer us up. Even when we are happy, they want to be involved and relish in everything that’s good in life.
Sometimes these helpers are just the opposite of helpful. The badgering about what’s going, the insistence to go do something, the constant questions are exhausting! And quite honestly, we don’t always have the answers. Sometimes we just have to learn to drown out the “noise” that doesn’t serve us.
Lonely but not Alone
Sometimes I am asked why I like to be alone so much. I like the quiet. The solitude doesn’t bother me. I always have people to whom I reach out if I feel the need. I may be alone, but I don’t feel lonely. I have serenity.
The opposite side of the coin is the person that is never alone yet feels very lonely. But how can that be? Personal connections are necessary to make someone feel like they are not alone. Just being near other people doesn’t mean anything if there is no relationship. Then it’s just noise. These are the people that need help to find serenity amid a crowded or hectic atmosphere. These are the people that benefit from noise-cancelling headphones, or a really intense ability to meditate.
A Quiet Mind Can be Hard to Find
A lone wolf isn’t always lonely. Someone surrounded by people doesn’t always feel loved and supported. You have to create your own serenity, your own quiet, First you have to figure out what that is. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need in order to be the healthiest person you can be.
Thoughts and comments are always welcome!